My mum without supermarkets

My mum burst my little blogging bubble last night in that way that only a well-meaning parent can.

I thought I'd been doing well and had been really chuffed to see the numbers of people who have been logging on to take a look, until my mother informed me that a decent portion of my readers are actually her friends. Not award-winning documentary makers, cabinet ministers or members of the UN.

So I'd like to take this opportunity to say hello and thank you to all my mum's friends. And this post is going to be about my mum and a little bit of non-supermarket shopping I've been doing today on her behalf.

Now, my mum is pretty much like every other grown-up's mum - often I look at her and think "my god, she's been right all these years......." and then she ruins the effect by saying something completely random.

Last night's telephone call was no exception. We'd been having a perfectly sensible conversation about various things, including a friend's baby and our plans to meet on Thursday, when suddenly the subject turned to this....

Mum: "Do you know about tofu?"

Me: "Yes. Why? Do you know about tofu?"

Mum: "No, but I need to know about tofu. What is tofu?"

Me: "That's like asking what is cheese - there are loads of different types. But it's basically a bean curd. What kind of tofu are you thinking of?"

Mum: "I don't know. What kind of tofu should I be thinking of?"

Me: "I don't know, you're the one thinking of it! Why are you asking about tofu?"

Mum: "I read about it. I need to be eating it."

Me: "Okay, what kind of meals are you thinking of?"

Mum: "I don't know. What's tofu like?"

Me (starting to get exasperated): "There are different types, like cheese, some soft and some hard."

Mum: "Mmmmmmmmmmm" (For readers not friends with my mum, she has a special way of saying “mmmmmmmm” that means she either doesn’t have any idea what you’re talking about or doesn't think you have any idea what you're talking about.)

Mum: "Is tofu hot or cold?"

Me: "It can be either. You can have it hot with a stir fry or cold with a salad."

Mum (perking up considerably): "Oooooh yes, I'll have it with salad. Where can I buy cold tofu?"

Me: "Tell you what, why don't you let me buy you a packet of a nice kind of tofu?"

Mum (clearly relieved that I'm taking control of the difficult tofu situation): "Oh yes please, that would be lovely. You get me some tofu." 

So this lunchtime I set out on a mission to find some mum-friendly tofu - not an easy task considering that it can be something of an acquired taste. I can picture vividly the look of disgust and disappointment on my mum's face if I get this wrong, which to be honest is highly likely. I'm just not sure that my mum's a tofu kind of girl, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

(And mum, if you're reading this, it was snowing heavily and I still went walking into town for you in my work skirt and high heels - that's got to be worth some Brownie points!)

However at least my challenge gave me a bit of a head start, in that if you want decent tofu you don’t want to be in a supermarket, where there is usually only one type available - if any. Independent shops, wholefood shops and health food shops are the places to go for good tofu.

Predictably I ended up in my favourite wholefood shop SoundBites, in Derby, which as I've said before, is brilliant. But I think my tofu questions may have left the staff in a state of bafflement.

To set the scene, this place is staffed by some pretty hardcore-looking vegan eco-warrior types who are probably more accustomed to debating the merits of fair trade vs food miles than helping to pinpoint a type of tofu that won't be too offensive to a customer's very mainstream mum.

My opening gambit of “do you have any tofu that my mum might like?” drew black stares from the staff, so I decided to attempt a joke...

“You know, some tofu that a meat-eater might like?”

Silence. And slightly distasteful looks. The joke bombed.

In the end we agreed that the basil tofu (my own personal favourite) is nice and flavourful for someone not used to it, while the smoked tofu is probably as close as vegan food gets to “meaty”, so I bought one of each.

So mum, the world (or at least a collection of your friends and possibly a couple of cabinet ministers) waits with baited breath to find out what you think of tofu.....

I don't know why this is side-on - I've tried three times to move it and now given up!