Friday 31 May 2013

Take a butchers at National Barbecue Week


So what's a veggie doing talking about National Barbecue Week?

Well I do still love a barbecue. Loads of Lynda McCartnery sausages and halloumi, usually with best mates 'The Chrises', sat on deckchairs in Christine's back garden.

But of course, for this week's Food You Can Trust feature in the Derby Telegraph, I had to head out and chat to some butchers.

And naughty photographer Alex couldn't resist the opportunity to try to persuade me to get my hands dirty chopping some raw meat at Chellaston Butchers. Luckily butcher Scott Rodgers came to my rescue and dug out some red peppers for me to pose with instead, and the pics never made the paper anyway.

Scott was lovely, talking about how he knows where all his meat comes from, and I also met some of his happy customers who were keen to sing his praises and talk about the importance of supporting your local butcher.

One lady even told me that supermarket meat makes her husband ill because he has Crohn's disease and the supermarkets tend to stuff their sausages will filler like pasta, so she always shops at the butchers because she can trust what she is buying.

Full story from today's paper here



Thursday 30 May 2013

Smelly girl


The lady stood in the queue behind me is middle-aged, matronly and well-turned out in a smart blue coat and court shoes. But her nostrils are wrinkling and the corners of her mouth are twitching in disgust. It looks like it's taking all her self control not to reach out and hold her nose with her fingers.

I glance around in surprise. I'm in my favourite bakery, Merengue in Chesterfield, which has its own little cafe too, and the only thing I can smell is fresh bread and tempting food aromas coming from the kitchen.

Then I look down at myself. Oh. Perhaps the smell might be coming from me. The lady behind me takes a step backwards and my suspicions are confirmed.

You see, I often work a late shift on Thursday, which means I tend to pop into a few local shops in the morning. But it also means I tend to ride my horse.

And this morning the weather has been gruesome, so by the time I left the stables I had mud splattered up to my knees, a generous smattering of wet horse hairs on my coat, my own hair looked like seabirds had been nesting in it (the large squarking untidy kind of seabirds), and I was soaked right through to the skin thanks to the rain.

And of course, horses do smell. It's not the kind of odor that you notice when you spend a lot of time with them, but to the uninitiated they do have a certain scent.... (largely due to the fact that they go to the loo a lot)....

So anyway, windswept, stinking and unkempt, I then made my way round my local bakery, greengrocers and pharmacy. 

And in each shop I got pretty much the same reaction, with other customers raising their eyebrows and side-stepping to get out of my way. Even the shopkeepers, who are always polite and friendly, went to great lengths not to touch my hands as they handed over my change.

And because this is a regular weekly routine, I have a feeling I might be developing something of a local reputation as The Smelly Girl.

If further confirmation were needed, I arrive home to find a bunch of workman digging up my road. 'Here we go' I thought, stealing myself for the usual round of whistles and stares that they usually like to throw at any female with a pulse.

Nothing.

Silence from the workmen. A silence tinged with a hint of revulsion.

I scurried into my house and headed for the bathroom. With an afternoon of meetings ahead it was time to de-horse.




Wednesday 29 May 2013

Understanding Banana Bob

“Buenos Dias Jade, pay me next week no problem (I’ll just stop in this weekend and eat bread & dripping!!) and have a nice day.”

That was the reply from my super hero greengrocer Banana Bob when I emailed him this morning to tell him that I’d forgotten to leave any cash out for him today.

I’ve written about Bob several times before. I’ve never actually met him, but I have lovely visions of him swooping into my street like Banana Man, blue and yellow cape billowing out behind him.

Or driving up to my house in a giant canary-yellow banana-mobile.

In reality the poor guy is merely a greengrocer with a brilliant name and good sense of humour, as the above note proves. And I’m sure he probably arrives at my house in a perfectly-normal looking delivery van.

The reason I’ve never seen him is that I’m always at work when he arrives, so we have this lovely arrangement where I leave out the old crate and £12 by my back door, and in return he delivers a new box full of fresh organic fruit and veg.

Oh, and I've previously done a price comparrison and found him to be about a fiver cheaper than a like-for-like shop at Tesco.

But thanks to the bank holiday I got my dates mixed up and forgot to leave the box and cash out for him this morning, so I had to send him an apologetic email explaining what I’d done.

And of course this is another reason why shopping local is so brilliant. How many times have you sent an IOU note to a supermarket?

Tuesday 28 May 2013

Uh-oh here come the food police...


The Daily Mail is reporting today that Tesco is set to use its Clubcard to offer customers healthy eating reminders.

According to the newspaper, the supermarket will use data on what Clubcard holders are buying to advise those who want to slim on how to make healthier choices.

Tesco told the Daily Mail that it wanted to play it's part in tackling Britain's growing obesity epidemic.

The paper reports that the supermarket hasn't yet decided how it will use the information, but options could include offering vouchers for healthier products and suggesting recipes. It has also promised that customers would have to "opt in" to the initiative, rather than being bombarded with unwanted advice.

Now first of all I'd like to point out that I am not a "Daily Mail reader" (thinking curtain-twitching old busy-body stereotype) - I tend to look at all the papers daily because of my job. But I was intrigued to read this piece and I think it raises some interesting points.

Firstly, Tesco makes a hell of a lot of money selling unhealthy items. Think of all the three-for-twos and special offers on crisps... pizzas.... donuts... fizzy drinks etc. And will their healthy suggestions actually be healthy? Low fat alternatives are often not as good for you as they're billed. It's hard to see Tesco directing the fatties in the direction of the (usually very very small) wholefoods section.

Secondly, I've already blogged about my thoughts on the Clubcard tracking shoppers' spending habits. It's just a bit creepy. Big Brother is watching you!

And thirdly, COME ON, how much do we have to nanny people here?! Does Tesco really need to step in to tell fat people that if they continue to load up on donuts that they will continue to get fat? Really??? The fruit and vegetable aisle is always right at the front of the shop. If people choose the pass straight through it then that's their problem, and a nudge from Tesco telling them they bought too many pizzas that week probably isn't going to help.




Monday 27 May 2013

Bank holiday muffins - thanks to Asda

"OOOOOOOOOH THAT'S CHEATING!!!!"

So went the chorus of indignation from my ever-supportive colleagues as I dug into the chocolate muffins on newsdesk.

Asda muffins
You see, while the rest of the country is enjoying a bank holiday, and my friends who run my favourite local shops are enjoying a well-earned rest, I've come into work this afternoon because the Derby Telegraph prints every day.

And I arrived to find that colleague Whaddy had brought a couple of boxes of Asda chocolate muffins in to keep the bank holiday shifters going.

Now according to the rules of this challenge, written in January, I am not allowed to send someone into a supermarket to make a purchase on my behalf. But I am allowed to eat supermarket-bought food as long as I have not requested it. So by definition, tucking into Whaddy's muffins (which I had no part in buying) is fine, and not a breach of My Year Without Supermarkets.

But try telling that to my work mates.

"CHEAT, CHEAT, CHEAT" they bellowed as I plumped for double chocolate.

But shopping on bank holidays is tough if you're trying to avoid the supermarkets. I stayed at Lovely Anna's last night and we went out for a great breakfast this morning. But then we had to scour Derby town centre to find some food for me to bring into work to keep me going on my late shift.

Of course there are plenty of small supermarket branches - a Sainsbury's Local and a Tesco Express. And of course they were open today. But my usual favourites, such as Sound Bites wholefood shop and the market place, were closed.

I ended up grabbing a Lynda McCartney Lasagne from Holland and Barrett to go in the office microwave, and a sarnie from Boots to keep me going in the meantime. Back to the old issue of convenience again....










 


Sunday 26 May 2013

Breadcakes or baps?

“Silly girl, those are bread rolls.”

That was my southerner friend Catherine’s reaction to my recent suggestion that a small round soft loaf of bread is called a “breadcake”.

See I’m from Yorkshire – a glorious place often called God’s Own Country, where grown men call each other love, the pudding is king and Sheffield Wednesday really is the ONLY football team worth supporting.

We’re famed for being an argumentative, bloody-minded and tight-fisted bunch, and as the old saying goes “a Yorkshireman is a Scotsman with all the generosity squeezed out of him”.

We’ve given the world the Brontes, Brian Clough, Jarvis Cocker, Sean Bean, Peter Stringfellow (apologies for that one), Henry Moore, Captain Cook, Jessica Ennis, Guy Fawkes, Alan Titchmarsh and William Wilberforce.

We invented Hendos. And Sheffield steel. And the rhubarb triangle.

And then of course there’s the dialect. A fat girl is a “bonny lass”, “duck” is a term of endearment, “chuffed” means very excited, “reet” means very (put them together - “reet chuffed”!), a  “reet bobby dazzler” is a good looking girl and, of course, a “breadcake” is what you use to make a sandwich.

But I work over the boarder in Derbyshire, where they make sandwiches with “cobs”.

And here comes the tenuous link to supermarkets.... the Derby Telegraph has this week been giving away free rolls (yes, rolls - the sanitised universally-understood term that the supermarkets use) to all readers from a local branch of Tesco.

Which has lead to The Great Breadcake Debate in the office..... mainly because they all think I’m mad for misnaming the cob!

And we've even had a bit of fun about cobs to go on our website this weekend... which you can see here.

But all over the country bread rolls go by different names. Scots say “baps”, while in Liverpool they are “barm cakes”. In Coventry they eat “batches”, a “bread bun” is becoming more popular thanks to hamburgers, and “teacakes” are enjoyed in Lancashire.

Disappointingly, if you shop in the supermarket, you’ll be used to seeing them marked up as bread rolls, because supermarkets rarely take heed of regional dialects.

And regional dialects are brilliant, variety is the price of life! Shop local and you’ll find your rolls labelled up as breadcakes, or cobs, or batches. Which is just so much better.

Saturday 25 May 2013

Supermarket surfing - really?

Clearly I think that just visiting one supermarket is hell on earth - so imagine my horror at learning that some crazy people actually go to two or three in the same trip in an effort to save money.

It seems that in a bid to make the most of BOGOFs and three-for-twos there are a growing number of shoppers who spend their Saturday afternoons visiting two or three superstores on the trot.

A poll by research company IGD ShopperVista found that 42% of shoppers surveyed had visited two or more supermarkets during the same shopping trip within the last month  in an effort to keep costs down.

And seven in 10 shoppers said they were prioritising saving money.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love a bargain, but I also can’t imagine anything more soul-destroying than queuing to get into Tesco’s car park, grabbing a trolly, battling many way through the aisles, messing about at the check-out, and then driving away to a different supermarket and going through the whole process again.

My last supermarket experience was five months ago now, but I still clearly remember rising into the shimmering, artificially-lit environment on a conveyor belt not unlike the travelator from 80s TV show Gladiators.

The ocean of brightly-coloured cardboard and plastic packages was broken only by a long shoreline of checkouts, with shelves stacked as high as cliffs and harried-looking shoppers clinging to their trollies like sailors fighting to stay afloat in choppy waters.

The chorus of regular blips from scores of tills mingled with the cries of agitated children, the clashing of metal baskets and occasional tinny announcements of special offers boomed from a faceless, eternally-cheery Big Brother-esque intercom.

It’s just not very nice - and there is another way. Go to your local butcher and greengrocer. Visit a market or farm shop. Look into getting a veg box delivered. You’ll be quids in because shopping local is cheaper than the supermarkets and you’ll be happier too.

Friday 24 May 2013

Veggie delights at Sound Bites

“Now what sort of effect would you like you tea to have?”

I’ve been offered a cuppa at Sound Bites Wholefoods shop in Derby – so clearly this is going to be no ordinary brew. I ask for something uplifting and am presented with Chocolate Chilli Chai, a flavoured Chinese black tea.

Sound Bites has been one of my favourite places to shop since I moved to Derby six years ago, and since taking my pledge to shop local its become invaluable, so it was really nice to feature it in the this week's Food You Can Trust feature for the paper.

Not only does it stock a little bit of absolutely everything you could need in terms of groceries, but its ethical ethos means you can be sure that what you’re buying is as good for both you, and the planet, as possible.

And although they don’t like to boast about it, every single thing in the shop is also suitable for vegans – making it the perfect place to visit during National Vegetarian Week this week.

I’ve been a veggie since I was 13-years-old and have also flirted with veganism on several occasions, so I’m in my element in meat-free shops like this, but I realise that for some people its an entirely new experience.

But there really is nothing scary about good, simple, non-processed, natural food, as Scott Marshall, one of the co-operative members behind the store, points out.

“I think we’ve got quite traditional values,” he said. “We offer good value natural foods for people who like to cook from scratch, we’re low on packaging and processing.”

Sound Bites began life in Derby’s Market Hall in 2005, before moving to it’s own store, in Morledge, seven months later. It was founded by a co-operative, which currently has five members, and funded by Loan Stock – which means a number of supporters pledged money to set up the business, which the co-operative is now paying back.

Founding member Ruth Strange explains that the aims of the shop are to increase access to more ethical foods and support positive social change.

Ruth said: “We specialise in selling produce that is organic, Fairly Traded, cruelty-free, locally produced, low in packaging, non-GM, low in added sugars or salts, and with no unnecessary additives.

“Choosing organic does make a difference because organic farmers help to protect the environment and biodiversity, improve soil and encourage wildlife, birds and bees. Organic food is free from chemicals and never comes from genetically-modified seeds.”

Ruth explains how the supply chain used by Sound Bites is totally different to that used by the big chains and supermarkets – and much more accountable.

“We use wholesalers and producers whose aim is to produce good food in an ethical way,” she said. “It’s totally different to the industrial, mass-produced factory food offered in supermarkets. It really is food you can trust.”

For more see today's Derby telegraph or online.

Thursday 23 May 2013

Support your local takeaway - not the supermarket

Recently, for various reasons, I’ve been eating a few more takeaways than normal - either while out visiting friends or enjoying late-night nosh in the newsroom.

As regular readers will by now have realised, I’m pretty much a human dustbin and rarely turn my nose up at anything, but favourites include Indian, Chinese, Thai and of course the hallowed Pizza Hut deliveries that make working a graveyard shift on a Sunday night worthwhile.

But I’ve just stumbled across some research online which suggests that the supermarkets are actually taking business away from local takeaways.

Figures released from The NPD Group Inc, a global information company, show that the UK’s ethnic takeaway outlets and restaurants have suffered a decline of 123 million fewer visits over the past three years.

During the same time period, sales of spicy foods in supermarkets have soared – suggesting that consumers are craving ethnic flavours more and more, but no longer flocking to their local curry house for a fix.

I have to say I’ve never actually tried a supermarket-made curry. I’ve seen them of course, before my supermarket ban came in, on the ready meal aisles – and some of the supermarkets even bag them up to look like real takeaways.

I just looked on the Tesco website and it actually offers what it calls an Indian Takeaway Meal for Two - a brown bag containing three dishes, rice and a naan - just like you’d get from a real Indian takeaway restaurant but costing less than a fiver.

Well I’m sorry, but I’m not buying into it. There are few things nicer than settling down on a Friday night with a proper Indian takeaway and I don’t believe for one second that some supermarket-bought ready meal could compare to it.

Wednesday 22 May 2013

Supermarket in the hospital

I took this photo of an M&S Simply Food branch earlier today - any guesses where I was? A motorway service station perhaps? A shopping centre? A train station?

No, I was actually in my local hospital.

I was back at Royal Derby Hospital to see my consultant with the on-going hip issues mentioned previously. It's a really big, new and modern hospital and the main entrance is more like an airport waiting lounge with a Boots, Costa and the above-mentioned supermarket branch.

I had to stand for several minutes to take this picture because there were so many patients and visitors milling around, buying sandwiches, gifts and flowers.

But it having a supermarket in a hospital a good idea? Admittedly it's very convenient, and M&S do make nice sandwiches.

But I was chatting to a friend who works there last night and she said the M&S is also having a negative impact on the charity that supports the hospital.

The League of Friends charity is run by volunteers and raises money for a number of different hospital departments, wards and new equipment. They run a number of small sandwich and snack bars dotted throughout the hospital.

But according to my source, a lot of people are now going to M&S instead of The League of Friends shops - staff buying their lunches included.

One would assume that M&S is paying Royal Derby to operate a shop there, so perhaps it evens out. Or maybe it brings in even more money than the charity's shops do?

But I still think its a shame if the shops run by the volunteers are suffering as a result.

Tuesday 21 May 2013

Good veggie restaurant food?

This week is National Vegetarian Week. Don’t worry, I’m not going to bang on about it too much cause I know I’ve already done a bit of that on here. And as my lovely book club pal John says “don’t go on about being a veggie Jade - just do the funny stuff”.

But I have to give it a quick mention, and I may do so again later in the week. In fact, who am I kidding, I’ll definitely do so later in the week.

So what I want to tell you about today is a restaurant in Derby called The Wonky Table. I know the link is tenuous, but hey, so many of them are, and it’s not a supermarket!

The thing is, I love being a veggie and I love my food, but sometimes being a veggie and eating out can be a bit crap.

If I had a quid for every time I’ve rocked up to a restaurant with a bunch of friends and ended up with just one uninspiring choice on the menu, I’d be pretty rich. There is a reason it doesn’t take me long to decide what I want to eat - and that’s because usually I don’t have much choice. My pals will be umm-ing and ahh-ing as they weigh up the pros and cons of steak vs salmon, while I’m left staring at the one option of whatever the chef can be arsed to heat up for the token veggie.

And if I had a quid for every time I’ve had to politely pick at a veggie lasagne or stuffed peppers in a restaurant I’d be a millionaire. Don’t get me wrong - I LOVE homemade veggie lasagne, but it’s rarely that good when eating out. And stuffed peppers really are the booby prize. There is nothing nice about a bland old red pepper, warmed up and filled with rice or couscous. I mean, come on, being a veggie doesn’t mean I’ve had my tastebuds removed.

So that’s why The Wonky Table is so special, and deserves a special mention on this blog. I’ve just finished speaking to the owner, Holly, for this Friday’s Food You Can Trust feature, and she’s been telling me how the restaurant runs a monthly vegetarian night where they put on a five course meat-free taster menu.

And the most popular items on the menu then go on to feature on the restaurant’s a la carte menu for the rest of the month, meaning the veggie options at the Wonky Table have already been road-tested and given the thumbs up by a bunch of vegetarian diners.

The chefs do some innovative things for us veggies, including picking their own nettles for French-inspired nettle and potato soup, and going foraging with a bush craft expert. And local Derbyshire produce often gets a look-in.

So I guess the point I’m making is that it’s worth investigating meat-free options - even if you only do it occasionally, and there are people out there prepared to cater for us veggies.

Monday 20 May 2013

Park Smarter? B******s

This morning I have mostly been experiencing a very severe case of Tourettes. 

Why? I've just been paying my parking charge that I picked up nearly two weeks ago for parking outside my favourite bakery in Chesterfield. It was the point at which my year without supermarkets began to become expensive - cue lots of joshing from my lovely friends and colleagues about how it's free to park at Asda.

And yes, I have left it nearly two weeks to deal with it. In the words of one of my favourite literary heroes of all time, 'for I thought it was a matter of some delicacy and requiring of immediate attention'.

Okay okay, I've been putting it off. But if I'd left it for a further 24 hours it would have risen from £35 to £70, which is just ridiculous for a loaf of bread, so this morning I tackled it.

The ticket directed me to a website called parksmarter.co.uk, which immediately got my blood boiling.

"Park smarter? PARK SMARTER?! Well you can just f*** off you smug-faced f******** t***** bunch of f******** t********* w********s," I hissed at my computer screen. Who wants to be told to park smarter while they're coughing up £35 for a two-minute stop to buy a loaf of bread. B******s.

Then of course I'm into one of those automated, click this box, accept these conditions, fill your address in here, oooooooh go back a space, you didn't fill in your email address, put your card details here, epic fail you forgot your three digit security number, faffing about.

And of course I was swearing at my laptop like a sailor at sea the whole time. At one point the cat trotted in, meowing in alarm as I reeled off a string of obscenities, to see what all the fuss was about.

But she headed out of the cat-flap in disgust when I broke out the dreaded (and most unladylike) C-word after being asked to complete a short survey on my customer satisfaction experience after making my payment...... "Satisfied? SATISFIED?!! Why you.........."

I then ramped my anger levels up further by paying for my tax disk online immediately afterwards.

And it's not as if my car even deserves this kind of money spending on it. For the last couple of months we've not been getting on because its been giving me electric shocks every time I get out of it. I don't know what its problem is, but every time I step out onto the pavement after a drive and try to close the door it zaps me.

My neighbours must think I'm crackers, because I've taken to easing myself out of the driver's seat really carefully, then standing on the tarmac glaring at the car with a mixture of fear and trepidation before extending a single, trembling finger and very gingerly trying to tap the door closed, then jumping back with a squeal as it shocks me and hopping about in the road in annoyance.

So there we go. The combination of my evil car, a nice loaf of bread and avoiding Tesco has cost me £150 this morning and I'm not a happy camper.


Sunday 19 May 2013

20 things to do in the supermarket

Well it had to happen eventually. After writing 135 blog posts about avoiding the supermarkets (some admittedly more tenuous that others) today I've completely ran out of steam. I've not been near any shops all weekend, I'm quite tired, I'm just beginning a Sunday evening graveyard shift at work, and I really don't have anything to say.

So in a fit of desperation I've turned to Google, and after typing in a few random supermarket-based searches, I've found several dozen lists of things to do in the supermarket to annoy other customers. You know the type - "50 funny things to do in Asda" etc.

So I've put together a compilation of the best below......

1, Find a fat person with loads of fizzy drinks in their trolly, wait until they aren't looking, and then shake up all the bottles. Hope they will have a drink as soon as they've paid.

2, Set up a bowling alley using pineapples for pins. Watermelons make good bowling balls.

3, Walk around the store talking loudly into a banana, as if on a mobile phone.

4, Position a shopping trolly in the middle of an aisle, get into it, and pretend to fall asleep.

5, Scatter several packets of paracetemol tablets onto the floor then lie down amongst them and pretend to be unconscious.

6, Fill your trolly full of lamb chops and then push it round singing 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' really loudly.

7, Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the fresh meat counter.

8, Pick up a fresh bread roll, take it over to the dairy aisle and make yourself a cheese sandwich. Then take it to the checkout to pay and tell the cashier you put extra mayo on it.

9, Burst all the family bags of Dorritos.

10, Try to buy one grape.

11, Pay in pennies.

12, Take photos of men putting feminine hygiene products into their carts. Tell them they'll be able to download their photos at spinelesshenpeckedfairies.co.cuk

13, Go to the clothes section and request a consultation with a personal stylist.

14, Make a trail of orange juice across the floor, leading to the bathrooms.

15, Walk up to complete strangers and say "hi, I haven't seen you in ages". See how long you can keep the conversation going.

16, Put a pair of women's pants from the clothes department onto your head, then walk around the store really casually.

17, Move the 'caution, wet floor' signs to carpeted areas.

18, Randomly throw things over into neighbouring aisles.

19, Sit down at an empty checkout and then try to check people out, but say all the "blips" yourself, really loudly.

20, Make up nonsense products and then ask supermarket staff to direct you to them. "Do you have any woopsiebops here?"

Saturday 18 May 2013

Hello to my new adult fanbase!


After months of totting up somewhere between 200-500 readers a day for this blog, my audience figures leapt to a staggering 4,000 a couple of days ago, which as you can imagine filled me with great jubilation.

Until I discovered where they were coming from....

As previously mentioned, the Derby Telegraph's editor Neil White is my blogging guru as he writes his own rather successful blog Every Film. So I trotted into his office yesterday to crow about my success.

"4,000 HITS IN JUST ONE DAY," I boasted as I stuck my head around his door.

"That's brilliant," he replied. "And by the way, that skirt is too short. Now have you had a look at where they are coming from?"

Turns out that Blogger offers you a number of clever little features which show you exactly where your audience is coming from, including which countries (I'm popular in America weirdly) and referring websites, such as Facebook and Twitter.

So Neil helpfully came over to my desk to look over my shoulder and show me how to use these features to find out why I was suddenly so popular.

"Look," he pointed out. "There's a website here that is referring thousands of people to your blog. Click on it and see what it is."

I clicked.

"WOAH," we both gasped, as a naked young lady, on all fours, photographed from behind, popped up in front of us.

Not the kind of image you want to be viewing alongside your 50-year-old boss.

Silence.

Then the boss collapsed laughing as the rest of the office came dashing over to have a gander.

"Oh my god," cried Neil, doubling over. "You've somehow got linked to a porn site. From Birmingham of all places. Porn from Brum!"

We called Dan, our IT Man, over to investigate the problem, but after 20 excruciating minutes of clicking through various photographs (not the kind of content you particularly want to be viewing while sat next to a straight-laced IT man!) he was none the wiser.

"It appears that this website is somehow directing people to your blog, but I can't see how or why, and I can't find any direct links," said Dan. "You moderate all the comments that come into your blog anyway so they can't post anything on here.

"So basically, just enjoy all the extra hits until it dies down."

So it looks like I have a new audience. Greetings to you if you have just been referred here from that adult website, and apologies but you'll find the content slightly tamer.








Friday 17 May 2013

More capering at the markets

"I was the baby under the counter. I have been in this building every day of my life."

Those were the words of florist and greengrocer Lorna Margett, who gestured emphatically towards the roof of Derby’s Market Hall as she made her point.

Earlier this week I wrote about how myself and photographer friend Ian 'The Hodge' Hodgkinson had fun in Derby's markets for this week's Food You Can Trust piece.

We got more than we bargained for in the form of a few saucy comments, but here's the clean version of events, that went into today's paper.

Lorna runs two stalls in the Market Hall – Mr Fruity and Flowers by Joy – as well as offering a veg box delivery service within the city. Since meeting her Hodge has already signed up to the scheme and had his first veggie box delivered to his home last night.

Above her stall hangs a sign announcing to visitors that she is "proud to support local farmers".

Lorna said: "The Market Hall was opened in 1860 and the Margetts, my ancestors, have had a fruit and veg stall here ever since.

"My parents worked in here, my mum continued during her pregnancy and when I was born she literally brought me into work and popped me under the counter."

I asked Lorna what was so special about shopping at the market.

"It’s just so personal," she said. "You get a better service because we have time to speak to our customers. I get my produce from a small independent farmer in Melbourne so I can tell you where everything has come from.

"It’s also a hell of a lot better value too."

Her views were echoed by watchmaker Linda Aston, of The Mecca, who has also been working in the Market Hall all her life alongside her family.

Linda’s 88-year-old father Michael Doyle still comes into the market every day to work on the family’s stall.

"What you get when you shop in the market is the personal touch," she said. "The traders have all got an excellent knowledge of their produce and can sell you exactly what you want.

"There are things like gluten-free sausages for those with allergies, and if you’re on a budget or you’re a student then you can buy just one sausage or one potato – not like in the supermarket where they’re all bagged up by weight or into packs of six."

Linda’s fondness for the market was touching and the other stallholders clearly had a soft spot for her too.

"There’s a fantastic community spirit in here," she said. "It’s like a little village. All the stallholders know each other and well all know what the others sell. We all help each other and we help our customers by pointing them in the right direction of the stall that can sell them exactly what they want."

For more go to our website. 


Today's Food You Can Trust feature

Thursday 16 May 2013

A little lunchtime pampering

I smell and feel amazing.... from the elbows down.

Why? Well I spent my lunch break yesterday in handmade cosmetics shop Lush, in Derby, enjoying some very nice skin treatments administered by crazy but hilarious shop assistant Lawrii.

To set the scene, Lawrii is flamboyant, tall and slender, heavily pierced and tattooed, with huge 80s hair, and he spots me as soon as I walk through the shop door.

I’d planned to just quickly grab some shampoo and be on my way, but that plan went out of the window in a flash. Never mind – the whole point of avoiding supermarkets is to meet people and have fun while shopping, so I decide to submit to Lawrii’s attentions.

Within minutes he’s fetched me a vegan oaty biscuit from the back of the store after I confessed that I’d skipped breakfast and introduced me to the rest of the staff.

I’m wearing a top with tiny little dogs printed on it, so Lawrii then proceeds to name them all (Gerald and Mimi are the ones I remember now), while at the same time lathering my hands with a new type of conditioner.

Over the next 10 minutes we swap notes on Lawrii’s relationship and his hair care regime - which turns out to be very different to mine. He puts a lot of effort into achieving a huge bouffant, meanwhile I spend a lot of time trying to tame my unruly mane.

We also discover a shared love of enjoying alcohol and a good book in the bath, and compare stories on the difficulties of having to stand up in the bath to wash after having drunk a little too much.

Every so often my new friend breaks off from our conversation to bellow a joyful “HIYA!” at any new customer to walk into the shop.

Lawrii then drags me over to a bowl of hot water and demands I offer him a naked arm. This clearly wasn’t part of the lunchtime shopping plan but by this point I’m enjoying myself too much to care so I shrug my coat off.

My hands and arms are washed, exfoliated, massaged and moisturised with loving care. Lawrii is clearly getting into the swing of things here. “Touch this..... smell this....” he keeps telling me with each new product he produces.

With a final flourish he pats my arms dry and then adds a touch of scent to my wrists.

“Ta-dah! How do you feel?” He asks.

“Oooooooooh nice,” I answer, marvelling at my baby-soft arms.

“And see, if you do that in the bath then your whole body will feel like that.”

Lawrii is an amazing salesman and by the time I leave I’ve also agreed to a new moisturiser (the one we road tested) and a soap that helps to support a charity called Sea Shepherd UK, which is working to protect the world’s ocean wildlife. The soap is aqua green and has a little black shark’s fin sticking out of it.

I tell him about My Year Without Supermarkets and he is delighted, telling me that he doesn’t like Tesco because apparently in China they sell live turtles in the supermarkets.

It’s been a bizarre but entertaining way to spend a lunch hour and Lawrii is one of my new favourite shop assistants.

Back in the office I proffer my inner arms to my alarmed colleagues and demand to be admired.
.
“Yep, pretty soft,” admits one of my colleagues as his gingerly touches my wrist. “And you smell quite good too.”

I pity those poor folks who are still caught up in the dull and soul-destroying routine of buying their shampoo and moisturiser from the supermarket. Give me a whicker basket in Lush over a nasty shopping trolly any day!

Wednesday 15 May 2013

Love Your Local Market 2013

Looks like I’m ahead of the game this week with yesterday’s missive on the brilliance of local markets.

Today Local Growth Minister Mark Prisk has spoken out to encourage people to support their local markets as he launches the Love Your Local Market 2013 campaign.

Over the next fortnight more than 650 markets across England with stage over 3,000 special events to promote what they offer, including tastings, concerts, treasure hunts and local produce promotions.

There will also be free or subsidised stalls available to give budding traders the chance to try out running a stall for the first time.

The Love Your Local Market Campaign was launched at London’s famous Portobello Road Market.

Mr Prisk: “Markets can be the beating heart of their communities and a force for good in the local economy.  We have seen examples across the country of markets bringing people back to the high street, nurturing new traders and spreading the benefits to all surrounding businesses.

“That's why we’re backing the Love you Local Market fortnight. It is a great opportunity for town centres and for aspiring business owners to give trading a go.”

To find out what events are in your area go to www.loveyourlocalmarket.org.uk.

Tuesday 14 May 2013

Carry On shopping local...

“You see that old couple over there touching those big white boxer shorts?”

Myself and one of my favourite photographers, Ian Hodgkinson (The Hodge to his friends), were out in Derby’s indoor markets this lunchtime to get words and pictures for this Friday’s Food You Can Trust feature.

But our outing was fast turning into the journalistic version of a Carry On film.

The OAPs with the underwear were pointed out to us by one of the stallholders when we asked for directions to the watch shop.

Never mind such bland instructions as “follow this aisle to the end and turn right” – we were instead left trying to sidle past the elderly gentleman in question, who by this point was waving a large pair of Long Johns at his pained-looking wife.

And that was by no means the oddest comment of the morning.

The innuendos flowed thick and fast, with one flirty florist telling Hodge that she was “good at making small things grow”.
And it turned out the stallholders and customers in Derby are an amorous bunch, with both Hodge and I attracting some unexpected attention.

I inadvertently found myself being wooed by a large tattooed chap outside one of the fruit and veg stands, whose abject failure to control his wandering eyes was bordering on terrifying.

I kept sidling over to The Hodge for protection and giving him wide-eyed “save me looks”, and he kept repeatedly abandoning me to my fate and trotting off to take more photographs.

I soon got my own back though as Hodge caught the attention of a lady greengrocer, who proceeded to tell him her exact bra size (very big) and then lean over her produce saucily.

She quizzed him on whether he liked motorbikes and what car he has, at which point I burst her bubble and deflated his ego by pointing out that he drives a Ford Ka.

When we got back to our office, clutching a bag full of chocolate-coated cherries that were a gift from another stallholder, we were both bleary-eyed from laughing.

However, there was a serious point to all that capering around, and that was to promote Derby’s indoor markets, which desperately need the support of shoppers if they are to survive.

One of the things clearly illustrated by this morning’s trip was that these places have bags full of personality and the traders who run their businesses from them are really keen to have a laugh and a joke with their customers.

While we were there we witnessed a gang of youths stopping to help a little old lady on a mobility scooter who was struggling to reach a counter, a butcher dishing out a recipe as he found a customer the right cut of meat, and a general feeling of camaraderie amongst the stallholders.

Everyone seemed to know each other and we found our way to several of the stalls that we needed to photograph simply by giving another trader their first name.

The choice in the markets is brilliant, the prices are brilliant and all the traders have a brilliant background knowledge of what they’re selling, so you know exactly what you’re getting and where it came from.

And at the end of the day, when did you last come out bleary-eyed from laughing after shopping at Tesco?

Monday 13 May 2013

Explosion at site earmarked for development


A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how a campaign group called Belper Against Tesco had secured a victory against the supermarket - which scrapped plans for a huge superstore development in the town after six years of wrangling with the locals.

But the plot thickens... as on Friday afternoon there was a huge explosion in Belper which rocked the town, sent a cloud of dust and debris into the sky and blocked roads.

Story and some really brilliant pictures here on the Derby Telegraph website.

Police have spent the weekend investigating the cause of the blast, in which luckily no one was injured, and a teenager has now been arrested in connection with the incident.

But it turns out that the explosion happened at a derelict old factory that had been earmarked as part of the Tesco development since 2007, and had previously attracted anti-social behaviour and arson attacks.

Local people are now suggesting that the site is not secure enough, which begs the question of what supermarkets are doing to protect areas they have bought up for development so that they don't become a blight for people who live nearby.

Tesco told our newspaper last night that is has 24-hour security at the site and is supporting the police with their enquiries into what happened.

Sunday 12 May 2013

Community champions

Well this blog is fast becoming My Year Without Shopping - rather than My Year Without Supermarkets. 

I've had another really busy week this week so I've barely been to the shops at all, and thanks to a work event including slap-up meal that I'm going to later, I won't be doing any shopping today either.

But because I've got superhero greengrocer Banana Bob, who delivers the weekly veg box, and Not-Roger The Egg Man, I've not be starving.

So where am I going this afternoon? Well the Derby Telegraph, in partnership with the Mayor of Derby's office, Derby County Football Club and The Derbyshire Building Society, runs an annual awards evening called Community Champions, where we celebrate unsung heroes who have gone the extra mile to help others.

Categories include carers, great neighbours, sporting achievements, children of courage and fundraisers. And this afternoon it's the award ceremony at Derby County's Pride Park stadium.

So time to go and slap some make-up on and dig a frock out..... normal service will be resumed tomorrow!


Saturday 11 May 2013

Two loaves cost me £35

Earlier this week I found myself being bitten by My Year Without Supermarkets - in the form of the £35 parking ticket.

I'd ducked into Meringue, Chesterfield's amazing artisan cafe and bakery, on my way home from the stables to grab some fresh bread. There are usually a couple of parking spaces outside the shop but unfortunately they were full, so I thought I'd just pull up in the bus stop about 50 metres further down the road instead.

After all, I was only planning on being in the shop for 30 seconds. It it really is a very long bus stop, so I reckoned the buses could probably still get in.

I bought a seeded brown loaf and a rustic French stick, but because they were busy in the cafe I ended up waiting for a couple of minutes to pay.

And as soon as I left the shop I realised my error as I spotted a parking warden pasting a big yellow ticket to the front windscreen of my car.

"But I only popped in for some bread," I wined, running up to him.

"Sorry," he said. "Can't park in a bus stop."

"But it was literally for just a minute," I pleaded.

"Sorry," he said. "Can't park in a bus stop. But if you pay within 14 days it drops from £60 to £35."

Oh well that's okay then.

So my two loaves of bread have ended up costing me £35 and I've also had to endure the jokes of my friends and colleagues, who have been slightly-too-cheerfully pointing out that it's free to park at Asda and Tesco.

And another friend suggested I should have feigned a water infection as the reason behind my illegal parking, but with two loaves of bread in my arms (rather than a carton of cranberry juice!) I'm not sure the parking warden would have had much patience with that one.


Workmates get creative
Under normal circumstances I might have tried batting my eyelashes to get him to rip up the ticket  but I'd just been riding in the rain so I looked like a drowned rat. No point in even trying.

I got into work that afternoon to find that my lovely colleagues, in a rare fit of creativity, had made and pasted a poster to the front of my computer emblazoned with the word "Bus-ted!".

On a serious note though, it does raise the point that actually, one of the reasons people do just drive to big superstores is that they don't have to worry about parking. Whereas if you set out to visit a favourite local shop, such as my bakery, and there isn't a parking space free outside, then you're a bit stuck.

Councils could do a lot more to support small independent businesses by improving parking facilities in towns and suburbs.




Friday 10 May 2013

Brown and Green in the paper

Writing this week's Food You Can Trust feature gave me particular pleasure because it was about my lovely friends Susie and Euan Keenan, who run Brown and Green.

Brown and Green is an amazing shop situated at the back of Derby Garden Centre, in Little Eaton, and its ethos is food and drink that is local, ethical and artisan.

The entrepreneuring couple are passionate foodies and their dedication to sourcing and selling county produce really shows.

They work with 29 Derbyshire suppliers, including The Derby Brewing Company, Duffield Dairy, Bluebells Ice Cream, vegetables from South Derbyshire Growers, Renishaw Hall Vineyard and The Loaf, in Crich.

They also work with around 30 other suppliers from the surrounding counties, such as The Staffordshire Cheese Company.

In fact, one of my favourite things about the shop is that many of the items on sale are actually labelled up to show exactly how many miles away they were produced.

"Local food is like a web," Susie explained when I went out to meet her. "Once producers realise that we are serious and genuine in our commitment to the cause they then introduce us to others.

"Food should not come from a factory – food should come from a farm."

And farmer’s daughter Susie knows a fair bit about the transition from field to fork, having studied at agricultural college before meeting her strawberry grower husband Euan and setting up Brown and Green.

They now have the backing of Blue Diamond, the company behind Derby Garden Centre, meaning they also run food stores in garden centres at Trentham, in Stoke on Trent, and Newent, in Gloucestershire.

Susie explained the concept behind the stores as being about three things – sourcing food as locally as possible, finding artisan producers that really put love into what they are making, and doing ethical business by supporting those people.

"We want to connect people to what they’re eating by telling the stories behind the food," she said. "For example, The Loaf is a fantastic bakery in Crich so we supply their bread. But we have just started stocking Middle Mountain Muesli, which is made by a couple from Matlock using bakery’s cooling ovens. It’s a wonderful example of two local artisan businesses supporting each other to make really great food."

"We get to know all the wonderful characters who make up our local food network so we can then pass as much of their story and personalities onto our customers as we can.

"I think that, as a society, we’ve become quite disconnected with our food and many of us have lost those basic skills of growing, cooking and baking, so we want to try to bring some of that back."

Brown and Green is open seven days a week, from 9am to 6pm Monday-Saturday, and from 10.30am to 4.30pm on Sundays – and with parking and access to the garden centre and restaurant, this makes the shop almost and convenient as going to the supermarket.

And as well as doing regular display changes in a bid to introduce customers to new products they might not otherwise have spotted, Susie and Euan have a few other little tricks up their sleeves.

They run regular "meet the maker" tasting days with the producers, meaning customers can actually meet the people behind the chutneys, pies and pastries in store.

And they also offer a food hamper service that can be tailor-made to customers’ specific requirements – whether that be for an all-Derbyshire medley or a beer and cheese basket for Father’s Day.

The store itself is open, airy and welcoming. As Susie puts it, it’s "somewhere people can come and browse, have fun and discover new things".

There are always plenty of foods laid out for customers to sample and they also run a wonderful initiative whereby they offer bottle refills on the olive oils and vinegars at a much cheaper price.

"We have a ‘yes we can’ attitude," said Susie. "We can deal with special orders and requests, we pride ourselves in having the best looking store and giving the best customer service.

"We want shopping to be a pleasure rather than a chore."

One of the final reasons I love Brown and Green so much is that the shop is very practical.

Some farm or local food shops can be a bit gimmicky, specialising in gifts and curiosities, but at Brown and Green you can pick up everything you need to make a meal – including basics like pasta, tinned tomatoes and rice.

It’s become one of my regular stops in my quest to spend this year shopping local – whether I’m after a pint of milk or enough to make a weekend’s meals, I know I can find it here.



Thursday 9 May 2013

Scorpion Death Chocolate

The evil chocolate

"Be careful with this chaps, it'll blow your tits off."

Those were the sage words of our editor as he dumped a packet of 'Scorpion Death Chilli Chocolate' onto the newsdesk earlier this week. And the packaging came with its own warning: "Got a real sting in it's tail".

Once we'd finished tutting about the misplaced apostrophe (well we are a room full of journalists) we all crowded round to give it a go. After all, chilli chocolate is pretty common, so how bad could it be? And we're a hardened bunch of confectionery-lovers so a new and intriguing treat was like a red flag to a herd of (slightly greedy) bulls.

First to take the plunge was our freelance content editor Andy Darlington, who is also something of a foodie and runs his own local food magazine Taste The Seasons.

Me and Andy about to take the plunge
"Hmmmmmm, this is okay," he said, nibbling a small corner. "Don't know what all the fuss is about. Oh hang on a minute...... woah...... woah......"

This was followed by A LOT of arm flapping and puffing.

Not wanting to be left out, me and the girls waded in, each grabbing the tiniest little piece. I don't even like chilli, but I also have a pathological fear of being left out of anything fun. Or funny.

The piece I tried was tiny. Absolutely TINY. It was smaller than a baby's finger nail. And as soon as I'd put it into my mouth I realised I'd made a grave error.

"Spit or swallow, SPIT OR SWALLOW??!" I bellowed, dashing across the room to grab a glass of water.

The advice from the lads was predictable.

Sophie and Ella feel the heat
I took a huge gulp and then spent the next 10 minutes whimpering, meanwhile reporters Sophie Evans and Ella Rhodes headed straight for the kitchen to plunder the tea-round milk supply.

Next to give it a try was the news editor Carl 'I'll give anything a go' Slater. And the piece he took was huge.

"Hmmmm, it's fine," he said, chewing.

We all crowded round, waiting for the heat to kick in.

"No, really, it's fine," he said, starting to go red.

The baying mob edged closer.

"No really, I'm fine," he spluttered, starting to perspire, before finally errupting into a sneezing fit while we all fell about laughing.



When the editor returned from his meeting we quizzed him on where he'd found the offending chocolate. And it turned out that it was locally made and he'd picked it up from Burton Bridge Brewery while enjoying a dad-and-daughter pub crawl on Saturday. The barman had apparently warned them to go easy, so after trying it and scorching their mouths, they had offered it round the pub.

I looked on the website for Merry Berry Truffles, the firm that make the chocolate, and it said "this chocolate has made people cry".

We had similar fun in the newsroom for the rest of the day. Every time a different member of staff came on shift and spotted the chocolate, we had another round of entertainment.

"Ooooh, what's this?" our unsuspecting victim would ask.

"Oh you'll really like it, it's lovely, just give it a go...." we all chimed in.

"Is it hot?"

"Oooooooooh no, it's really mild, you can hardly taste the chilli."


Carl tries to brazen it out

Evil but very funny.