Balls to gym balls.

Despite my supermarket ban, Tesco has managed to still inflict a little bit of pain on me today, courtesy of a large grey gym ball.

Has anyone actually tried to use a gym ball? The NHS bounces pregnant women on them in One Born Every Minute, so they can't be that dangerous - can they? And there are always pictures of smiling models doing effortless little crunches while sat on them in magazines so you think: 'Well, that looks relatively easy'. 

I bought a gym ball from Tesco in a fit madness back in November, way before the supermarket-free challenge started. And yesterday, a mere five months after purchase, I decided to get it out and have a bash at using it, as part of the new health kick mentioned in Monday's blog. I found a little 'how to' app on my iphone with some gym ball exercises on it, and thought I was all set.

First of all, I would like to say to the inventors of the gym ball, ARE YOU NUTS?! Why would you suggest exercising on a piece of equipment that ROLLS AROUND?!

My first attempt at mounting the ball facing forwards (to do some tricep curls as specified by my phone) resulted in the damn thing rolling and me landing belly-down onto it, with a loud and involuntary "ooouf".

I imagine I probably looked not unlike a pair of hippos copulating on one of David Attenborough's warts-and-all wildlife shows.

I tried again, and again ended up dry-humping the ball, then rolling into the washing basket in the corner of the room. 

After a couple more false starts I managed about three passable tricep curls, "oooufing" all the time, before rolling off sideways and biting my tongue.

'Okay', I thought. 'Enough tricep curls'.

Next I decided to try the old gym ball classic - lying on my back over it and doing crunches. I'm pretty good at normal crunches so I thought this one would be relatively easy.

Not so my friends, not so.

After getting myself in position, I managed about five crunches, before coming to the conclusion that actually exercising on a gym ball is just bloody hard. It makes everything you try 10 times harder, and makes you look like a total wally while you're doing it. 

'This is bollocks', I thought.

After taking the very sensible decision to put them damn thing back up on top of the wardrobe and forget about it, I then discovered I couldn't move. I was beached. Cue a bout of hysterical giggling that sent the cat scurrying in to check on me, and meowing in alarm at my undignified situation.

So this morning I ache all over thanks to my three tricep curls and five crunches on board the gym ball. Thank you Tesco. And I reckon I'm going to limit my exercise in future to riding and walking to the local shops.