Scorpion Death Chocolate

The evil chocolate

"Be careful with this chaps, it'll blow your tits off."

Those were the sage words of our editor as he dumped a packet of 'Scorpion Death Chilli Chocolate' onto the newsdesk earlier this week. And the packaging came with its own warning: "Got a real sting in it's tail".

Once we'd finished tutting about the misplaced apostrophe (well we are a room full of journalists) we all crowded round to give it a go. After all, chilli chocolate is pretty common, so how bad could it be? And we're a hardened bunch of confectionery-lovers so a new and intriguing treat was like a red flag to a herd of (slightly greedy) bulls.

First to take the plunge was our freelance content editor Andy Darlington, who is also something of a foodie and runs his own local food magazine Taste The Seasons.

Me and Andy about to take the plunge

"Hmmmmmm, this is okay," he said, nibbling a small corner. "Don't know what all the fuss is about. Oh hang on a minute...... woah...... woah......"

This was followed by A LOT of arm flapping and puffing.

Not wanting to be left out, me and the girls waded in, each grabbing the tiniest little piece. I don't even like chilli, but I also have a pathological fear of being left out of anything fun. Or funny.

The piece I tried was tiny. Absolutely TINY. It was smaller than a baby's finger nail. And as soon as I'd put it into my mouth I realised I'd made a grave error.

"Spit or swallow, SPIT OR SWALLOW??!" I bellowed, dashing across the room to grab a glass of water.

The advice from the lads was predictable.

Sophie and Ella feel the heat

I took a huge gulp and then spent the next 10 minutes whimpering, meanwhile reporters Sophie Evans and Ella Rhodes headed straight for the kitchen to plunder the tea-round milk supply.

Next to give it a try was the news editor Carl 'I'll give anything a go' Slater. And the piece he took was huge.

"Hmmmm, it's fine," he said, chewing.

We all crowded round, waiting for the heat to kick in.

"No, really, it's fine," he said, starting to go red.

The baying mob edged closer.

"No really, I'm fine," he spluttered, starting to perspire, before finally errupting into a sneezing fit while we all fell about laughing.


When the editor returned from his meeting we quizzed him on where he'd found the offending chocolate. And it turned out that it was locally made and he'd picked it up from Burton Bridge Brewery while enjoying a dad-and-daughter pub crawl on Saturday. The barman had apparently warned them to go easy, so after trying it and scorching their mouths, they had offered it round the pub.

I looked on the website for Merry Berry Truffles, the firm that make the chocolate, and it said "this chocolate has made people cry".

We had similar fun in the newsroom for the rest of the day. Every time a different member of staff came on shift and spotted the chocolate, we had another round of entertainment.

"Ooooh, what's this?" our unsuspecting victim would ask.

"Oh you'll really like it, it's lovely, just give it a go...." we all chimed in.

"Is it hot?"

"Oooooooooh no, it's really mild, you can hardly taste the chilli."



Carl tries to brazen it out

Evil but very funny.